possibly way TMI

[piranha]

so, as previously mentioned, my inner gay boy has discovered his sex drive. i wasn't complaining at first, but you know? this is ridiculous. i am too old to have the sex drive of a teenager. i have actually been perfectly happy without a sex drive, i didn't miss the spurious one i had in the past. life is good without a sex drive. i really don't like being driven, and most certainly not by my hormones, so when all that went away, i was mostly relieved. yeah, i'd question it once in a while, to make sure i wasn't suppressing something important. but i figured i wasn't, and things were fine.

if this is what normal people go through, i feel for them. how in the world does one get anything done?

i guess i can consider myself lucky that my inner gay boy lusts after japanese voice actors; it's not like we can get into a lot of trouble that way.

(changed the userpic so eiri yuki from gravitation gets to express how i feel about my inner gay boy right now. *heh*.)

Comments

[firecat]

I agree, suddenly (re)discovering a sex drive in midlife can be very strange and annoying.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

if this is what normal people go through, i feel for them. how in the world does one get anything done?

I know exactly what you mean. Fortunately, mine soon cycled back down to within well-manageable levels... but damn, it was distracting for a while. Yeesh.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

nice icon. :) clearly i must make myself something similarly appropriate.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

The chuckling you hear is empathy, not mocking.

My libido took a nose-dive a few years ago. I still have a lot of sex, and I enjoy it, but I'm fine without it, and that has *really* given me a lot of time and mental clarity that I lacked when I was more horndoggy.

[djm4]

i guess i can consider myself lucky that my inner gay boy lusts after japanese voice actors; it's not like we can get into a lot of trouble that way.

Yes, as form of oral sex, that's a fairly safe one.

BTW: I've finally wathed to the end of season 2 of Battlestar Galactica (just in time, British TV is just starting on season 3) - I must go back and discuss the finale on your earlier thread when I get a moment.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

Yes, as form of oral sex, that's a fairly safe one.

it's more aural sex, *cackle*.

and yeah, BSG! i am on hiatus until the second half of season 3 starts, though i am considering to just wait and let them all pile up. turns out i don't really get as much out of it if i watch it one episode at a time. do discuss!

[blur01.livejournal.com]

I cannot help but feel a smug sense of satisfaction. For years I have
tried to explain to people what I go through on a daily basis and NO ONE
would empathise with me. Most would snicker and giggle or flat out disbelieve that it could be "that bad." I think the feeling I feel now is
what a parent must feel when their problem child has a child of their own and comes for the first time to complain.

I do feel for you, though. I wish you the best. *snicker* *laugh*

[pperiwinkle.livejournal.com]

I feeeeeel your paiiin! Or, you know, pleasure.

There are days when putting on a bra is an erotic experience, and putting on tight blue jeans is right out. When my sex drive tanks, I start looking for what's wrong.

A few years back I had a hysterectomy. I kept my ovaries, but I still experienced some hormone surges post-operatively. I was apparently pumping a lot of testosterone for a few days, because I sprouted these whiskers, and the expression "There's a party going on in my pants" became very real for me. I suddenly had a keen insight into teen-aged boys.

Whew! As much as I enjoy sex, I'm really glad my hormones settled back to what's normal for me.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

having usually been able to have fairly frank talks with people about sex, i knew that there are people who genuinely have a strong sex drive, and who have to pretty much have sex every day -- and some of them more than once. i wouldn't snicker at that, unless the person was also snickering.

but it's much more instructive to actually _feel_ it than to just try and imagine it. it is much more distracting than i thought it would be.

i definitely feel for you too. :)

so how do you deal with it? can you shunt it aside somehow, or do you just spend more time in the bathroom (or wherever it is that you work it off)? at first i've been trying to ignore it, but that's not working too well, so now i am trying the other approach.

[blur01.livejournal.com]

My mind cycles swiftly so unless I am trying to concentrate on something specifically, few thoughts stick around for longer than 30 seconds or so. This in and of itself is annoying buy it does allow me to watch television, write email, listen to the stereo AND think about my day all at the same time. So with that in mind, a fleeting thought of sex will come, linger long enough to make itself known and start the inevitable physical responses, then speed off into the ether. The physical responses will either continue to ramp up until I am completely distracted, or Ill focus on something else. Usually I opt to focus on something else and not allow myself to obsess on the growing needs. It is, unfortunately, not a want, its a true need for release.

At the age of 39 I am actually reluctant to reveal the actual number of "trips to the bathroom" it takes to keep this at bay. I honestly do not think it was nearly this bad when I was a teenager or into my early 20s.

[huashan.livejournal.com]

Damn...you're old.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

what!? *bops you over the head*. :)

[huashan.livejournal.com]

Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

i guess having a short attention span is really helpful for some things after all! *chuckle*.

yeah, on the want -> need scale this sure doesn't feel like a want to me either, and i most definitely don't actually want it. i'll try and remain amused by it for now because it just makes no sense to get upset over it. and mostly i'll hope it subsides, like most of my unusual spurts of something or other. i should probably try and enjoy it instead; that might in fact make it go away quicker.

it's interesting that you think it didn't use to be that bad when you were of the age where sex seems pretty naturally to be high on most people's minds. i also don't remember ever feeling something even close to this -- but i was pretty screwed up about sex as a young adult. since then my strongest sexual feelings have occurred when i was particularly interested in somebody new, but it never was this consuming then either. and i am not actually interested in somebody new -- at least i strongly presume i am not actually having a mental hard-on for several japanese voice actors whom i don't even know.

though... hm. i did once before get really attracted to somebody by voice alone (i heard CEA in the hallways before i ever met him, and man, to this day i've not forgotten his voice).

[redbird]

Yes, you're too old for this; on the other hand, you've got a lot more sense than the average teenager, and as you say, lusting after Japanese voice actors won't get you into a lot of trouble.

I'm pleased to have more of a sex drive than I did some years ago, but I suspect it's well below the level you're discussing, and it wasn't starting from nothing at all.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Ha ha, I thought that was Gravitation. Are you disturbed by the standard yaoi dynamic yet?

standard yaoi dynamic

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

am i disturbed? hahahahahahaha! oh ghod, i want to hit most of the writers over the head, repeatedly, with a large, blunt, glowing, pixelated object!

the whole seme/uke thing is just screaming for me to do my own writing because it is so horribly prevalent. it's like western heteros idea of gays from a few decades ago -- gotta have one butch and one femme for a proper couple, right? and the femme was ueber-femme, more femme than any actual woman, complete with limp wrist and lisp. *gah*.

if i can't tell whether the uke is really a boy i have to put it away -- worst is when they actually crossdress in super-frilly outfits. please, stay away from me with those glaring gender dynamics. i like my boys manly. and of age too, come to think of it. oh, and i like my seme to show some emotion (other than anger), and to be just a little less condescending. if eiri didn't have those eyes, and that voice... *sigh*. this is definitely a very guilty pleasure genre for me.

the saving grace in gravitation is that shuichi is actually the pursuer, and well, the supporting cast is cool. but while i generally hate the art from the manga (the mangaka can apparently only draw attractive boys from the front, not from the side), i really wish they had taken his general look and personality from the manga, made him look older and not quite so over-the-top kawaii in the anime; it continues to disturb me.

last night i saw "papa to kiss in the dark", which had me rolling on the floor with laughter at the dynamic. if you haven't seen it yet, i'll post the screen cap that made me like it despite initially basically despairing over what was surely to come.

Re: standard yaoi dynamic

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I didn't get very far into the Gravitation anime because Shuichi does look so girly. Maybe I'll try the manga... sometime after I'm done with Emma and the Manga of Deep Feminist Shame. coffeeandink has been promoting some series very effectively for the end of 2006.

I want to see the screencap, but I'm a little scared now. :)

My mission of the last half-hour has failed, alas. Somewhere around my FL someone comments frequently with a great seme/uke-riff icon that I think you'd like, but damned if I can find where. I'll leap on it next time I see it.

[huashan.livejournal.com]

Wow...there better not be an up from where I am normally. That would be bad.

[blur01.livejournal.com]

I have to report that, at least for me, there is a ramp and I cannot yet see the top.