body and mind

[piranha]

i posted this as a comment in aquaeri's journal, where she was noodling about the "3 things you like about your body" meme that's going around.

in principle i don't like my body. it's the wrong body for me. and i am not just talking the wrong sex. it's, well, human. too big. can't fly. :)

and i really like my mind. i think it's amazing. i'd be ok confined to a wheelchair or bed as long as my mind is still working well and i have access to intellectual stimulation.

i do, however, not suffer (much) (anymore) from mind/body duality. i am very well aware that there would be no mind of mine without this body as a foundation, and in that regard, practically, i like this body because it mostly works amazingly well. my biggest physical problem is the depression. no, i don't view it mainly as a "mental" problem. it's a chemical imbalance. physical activity does nothing to improve that; in fact vigorous physical exertion ( = me overdoing something because it's exciting at the time) seems to make things worse. i never feel better after exercising (even when i don't overdo it) like so many people say they do; maybe my endorphin mechanism doesn't work.

exercise to me is a waste of time because it is so b-o-r-i-n-g, and i can't bear to do boring things when there are so many more interesting things out there. physical activity as side effect of doing things that are not boring (eg. hiking in beautiful surroundings, or gardening) is acceptable, and i count it as a good thing because it helps keep the body working reasonably well.

i can't (easily) pick 3 things i like about my body because i don't view it as a collection of parts, but as a machine. if i were to pick, it'd probably be from the point of admiration for the engineering of a particular system. like, hands are SO awesome. i sometimes just stare and watch mine do stuff. and when i realize i am staring, i think about my eyes and what a nifty design they are (though i'd really like more of them). my top pick would probably be my mind. :)

Comments

[beaq.livejournal.com]

i never feel better after exercising

Me neither, when I'm depressed. It makes me briefly all "wheee" and then I crash and feel (mentally) like shit the rest of the day. I *like* exercise, and it helps, while I'm out doing it, because of the focus and the blood flow and hormones and whatnot, but I don't feel "better" afterward.

Perhaps it's one of those long-term things -- a little at a time, consistently, helps your overall well-being?

Re: body and mind

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

it's not quite that pronounced for me, but it's a definite downturn. and that stays true when i do something for the long term too. it's got to be a chemistry thing, since i don't remember this being true long ago when i didn't have chronic depression. even when i really like what i am doing (i actually like lots of outdoor activities like walking, hiking, canoeing), there is a sort of mild crash afterwards. pretty much the opposite of the "runner's high", i apparently have a "walker's low", *snrk*.

i've been walking to the mailbox (which is not a long walk) for several months now, nearly every day. i like the walk; we live in a semi-rural area, and there is always some new growing stuff to admire, and hey, mail! but i just came back, and i am distinctly feeling *bleh*, and want to crawl into bed. i wasn't feeling great before, but i'd been puttering around doing things.

annoying. not helpful in the "living healthy" department either. the depression by itself is enough of a bloody chore to handle, *grump*. i do think that i must keep doing it, because some degree of physical activity is simply good for the body, even if i feel down after engaging in it. i know that it has physical benefits because i can feel that i get in better shape when winter is past and i spend more time outdoors. like, by now i can walk up the hill to the mailbox without huffing and puffing and stopping halfway up.

interesting that you also don't feel good. you're the first person from whom i've heard that exercise isn't cheering.

Re: body and mind

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Me, too. Except for yoga; yoga makes me feel good. Everything else makes me grumpy or weepy or both.

Re: body and mind

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

huh. well, cool! umm. not really, but i always like it when there is an actual sample of people, rather than me just being weird (i doubt any physical stuff that has me being the only person experiencing it).

yoga makes you feel good, eh? i must now try yoga.

Re: body and mind

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

I've heard this; for some people, almost any exercise makes them feel worse, except yoga. I think it came up in a CFS study, for example. (I have to admit this is not my personal experience of exercise).

Exercise

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Exercise in a gym never makes me feel better, because I find gyms depressing. Oh - there was an exception: I once took a belly dance class in a gym, and that was fun! Taking a several mile walk, going dancing, or taking a yoga class that is centered around the relaxation within the postures (rather than the postures themselves) usually makes me feel better. I have taken yoga classes that felt like "exercise", and I felt angry and resentful during and afterwards. Back in my running days, running indoors did nothing for my mood, but running in the park was terrific. I sometimes got high as a kite after running a few miles.

When I'm really down, my personal best medicine is having a friend persuade me to go for a long walk, and not requiring me to talk while we're walking. When I'm really angry, a long walk alone makes me feel much better.

[redbird]

Since you're thinking of your body in terms of "what can it do," maybe that's a way to answer the question: for example, I like that I have good night vision (which is different from someone saying that they like the color of their eyes).

[huashan.livejournal.com]

I'm told that external exercise uses up internal resources and energy and internal exercise (some types of yoga/tai chi/etc) develop and increase internal energy and build up internal resources. Certainly I always feel like I have much more energy after meditation than I did before, and it helps tremendously with long term depression whether chemical or situational.