don't y'all laugh now

[piranha]

but i am sort of thinking of joining a gym, and consulting a personal trainer.

i went to a gym for a while once before, decades ago, but the experience was as horrible as high school sports -- with the wonderful exception that i could actually get the hell out of there when i had enough. and i had enough pretty quickly. disparaging looks from fit people, patronizing "advice" from staff, too damn much focus on weight loss, and me caring way too much about exposing my clumsy, ugly body to ridicule. yeah, i didn't fit in real well in LA and its particularly toxic culture of idealized appearance in general.

but i want to get in better shape, and my own attempts at doing so are always fizzling out when i hit a physical setback (the depression doesn't help). i've never done any weight training, and i think it'd be good for me (certainly good for kayaking). i don't just want to get some free weights for myself because i am worried i won't get the form right; i've watched videos, and i think this is one thing where having a teacher right next to me correcting my posture would be better at the start. i want to be stronger, more flexible, more agile, and develop better balance, so a yoga/pilates class would probably also be good. i need somebody who'll get after me when i start to slack, because relying on the paramour or the *poing* to nag me is not something i want to do to our relationships. but i don't want that person to yammer on about "ideal weight" and such crap. i'll never be my "ideal weight" (which i think is bogus anyway), and while i wouldn't mind dropping 30 lbs (because my knees and ankles will be happier), that is not my primary goal.

i've learned a lot since my bad experiences, and i no longer care much what other people think about my body, though i still prefer to struggle with it privately. i know many of the negative signs to watch out for, and i found one gym locally that might be a good match (not ideal, but that would be improbable); their list of good reasons for exercise doesn't even mention weight loss, they feature a safe harbour decal in the sidebar and mention repeatedly that all are welcome, they have a private studio for individual training sessions, and one of their trainers is a woman who was heavy and out of shape into her early 50s -- who, as opposed to the usual athletic go-getters, might actually have some insight into my issues. i like that their pictures feature real members (of varying sizes), not some stock images with plastic smiles, or photos of ripped fitness models.

any of you members of a gym? any tips, concerns, etc? questions i should ask? this is the place. any warning signs?

Comments

[redbird]

When I was working with a trainer, I talked to the gym's fitness manager and said "here's what I want, and here are my current issues." And he recommended a specific member of the staff who turned out to be a very good fit for that.

One thought: try to avoid signing up for multiple sessions with one trainer before you've actually worked with zir, because someone who's a good fit for someone else might not be for you.

[piranha]

oh yeah, i pretty much never buy before i try.

one gym was actually trying the hard sell on me, you know, the "if you sign up RIGHT NOW, we'll wave the initiation fee". i just laughed. it felt SO sleazy used car sales.

the recommendation thing might work if the gym had a wide variety of trainers, but from what i can tell it's all very limited. i'll just have to interview a bunch of them. it's a learning experience.

[green_knight]

I only ever joined one gym, and it was a council-run one rather than a posh one, and I found my reception excellent - I did not get funny looks, and I was rather overweight and out-of-shape. I got encouragement from trainers who listened to me say what I could and could not do, and they were appreciative of the fact that I turned up and exercised.

For me, weight training was entirely wrong: I want elastic strength, and the weight training is mostly about holding and force. (Yoga, the few times I tried it, felt essentially the same; Tai Chi, on the other hand, seems to be the exact opposite and is a much better fit for me).

In the long run, you might consider acquiring one gym machine for your home, which allows you to train in short sets, lowers the threshhold for 'pay for membership, drive to gym, train for x amounts of time', but I would wait until you know what you love best (I would have guessed exercise bike; I ended up loving elliptical trainers much more, and my knees HATED the rowing machine I'd looked forward to), and make it a good one rather than a cheapo.

Also, wanted to drop a note that I really enjoy your kayaking adventures and photos.

[piranha]

alas we don't have anything comparable that's run by the municipal government. we have two sports complexes in the city, and they do both have some gym equipment, but it's quite limited. the university also makes its equipment available (costs more, but is still cheaper than a private gym), but that gym is busy with students at all hours of the day. we have no YMCA.

tai chi i tried once and it was ok, but i felt uncomfortable in the class. i might try it again. i figure if i try a lot of things i'll find something i won't hate and that'll do what i want it to do.

i have a recumbent exercise bike at home, and it's getting used (will be more again in winter), but that's just cardio exercise, and alas cycling makes my right knee hurt now. good advice about waiting to buy more home equiment -- i really much prefer to do it all at home, but i first need to learn what works for me.

glad you're enjoying the kayak stuff!

[seryn]

I joined a gym and when I walked in, whoever was at the desk would high-five me for showing up. I got to recognize people in my neighborhood (you can't park here, so it's locals-only really) and it gave me a better sense of community.

Obviously that's not a universal experience. I was pretty shocked at how welcoming they were to a fat woman with almost zero activity level before I started.

Pretty universally the classes were too intense for me.

One of the things I would recommend is to not assume people are going to be against you beforehand. There've actually been a lot of things that weren't a problem for me but because of what I'd read online, I'd built up this huge fear of how I'd be treated.

I think you might want some weights at home, but my rationale is that lifting a 3-pound handweight while watching TV is unlikely to hurt you even if your form isn't perfect. But that's different than hiding at home because the gym people might be mean, that's for days when you're going to be sitting in front of the TV anyway.

best of luck finding the right solution for you.

I really loved weights.

[piranha]

that is so cool, that your local gym gives you such a great experience! i'd love that sort of place.

there is nothing local to me; we live outside the city limits. and while i recognize it's more environmentally sound to live in the city, i am so much happier in a semi-rural area that i am not willing to exchange that quite yet. heck, if anything, i'd move to the total sticks.

i looked in on a couple of classes, and definitely, they're all too intense for me. but i expect something called "gentle yoga" might not be. i've got to be real careful with that, because too much pressure will discourage me.

i've never read much online because i had no interest in gyms, considering them places where only already-fit people go, after my initial experience in LA. there was not a fat person in that place then. things have obviously changed for the better, because while visiting the other gyms, i saw a couple of people of my general calibre, and in photos even more. and still, my first experience now was crap, despite me being psyched for it -- though it might not have been because i was fat; maybe the receptionist fitness maven had an off day, or something else about me didn't please her). i don't actually assume that people diss me because i am fat. for most of my life i kinda blissfully evaded that kind of internalization; i am not entirely sure why, maybe since i myself don't dislike my body because it's fat, but because it's wrong in completely different ways.

i'm sure i'll buy some hand weights once i know what i am doing, and what sorts of weights would work best for me. it's always better for me to have options nearby, for when the depression keeps me away from everything else.

what do you love about weights, if i may ask? i'd never really considered them before now because in my mind weights were something for body builders. unless i actively research a topic i can stay woefully oblivious to what is in vogue -- having no tv, and an aggressive ad blocker on my browser probably helps with that. i have some giant holes when it comes to many aspects of popular culture, and gym culture was totally out view for me.

"circuit training", "zumba", "tabata"; all new to me. it's fascinating, you know, in that way in which whatever humans decide to do, they develop more and more specialized ways to do it, and task-specific jargon, and mythology, and phds write their theses about it all. very fractal.

[seryn]

I have 2 pound handweights. I paid like $5 for the pair. I used to keep them next to the couch.

What I love about weights as exercise is that it demonstrably builds muscle tone, even at the lowest weight. At the gym, there were weight stacks and one clicks the desired option. I was almost never doing more than the lightest possible choice, but that added enough resistance that I could stretch micromuscles that were otherwise hard to use. Not stretch to the point of pain either. Just "Hey, I have a body. It exists." Exercise should probably do that... make you aware you have a body.

Plus I wasn't all sweaty and thirsty and miserable like that nasty cardio shit people are always saying is the only "real" exercise.

You live where you want to live. But seriously, if you're going to drive to the gym, don't pick one without parking. It might help if there was a reward type thing nearby. I'd probably have bought myself flowers a lot if there'd been a stand next to the gym. It's not impossible to motivate yourself, but I definitely suggest not making things worse.

The high fiving at the gym? they don't do that to everyone. I just always talked to the people at the desk and asked them about themselves and they seemed to like me. Most people pretended like there wasn't a human staff member there at all so they wouldn't have wanted it. I told them flat out that I was not athletic and would need to find things where showing up counted.

No idea how that works for other people. I can tell you that I haven't been back in 2 years though. I probably won't go back, because the ellipticals are too close together (and they have a 20 minute time limit), there's no towel service, the classes are too hard, and they don't seem to care that people don't put the weights back. If they're not going to make people re-rack their weight disks, then they need to not have any 50 pounders that regular people can't remove. I complained a number of times, but was told that the person at the desk was working alone. At 8pm on a weeknight? That's some shitty staffing. But most of the reason I stopped going was when I got reallly sick and couldn't breathe. It took months for that to completely clear up and by then I'd stopped caring.

I read a bunch of wikis before visiting gyms.

[afuna]

The best trainer I ever had sat me down before we'd ever done anything and asked me directly what I was aiming for (flexibility? weight loss? strength? etc). Usually if they don't ask that's a sign to be a bit wary (but bring it up anyway, and then see how it goes).

No laughter from me! Good luck and I hope it turns out well.

[piranha]

thanks! yes, one gym stood out about doing that first, before talking prices and stuff. i liked it.

thanks!

[jesse_the_k]

IME, Public gyms like YWCA or in my case the rehab center connected to a local clinic have much less emphasis on the spandex and much more emphasis on health at every size.

Hanne Blank has just published a book about being a fat woman at the gym and it's got a lot of very useful hints, as well as scripts to avoid engaging ppl who piss you off.

Finally I found the best atmosphere when the members are older. My current gym's average is 60 -- there are many kinds of bodies here which has helped me accept mine.

Finally finally there is nothing easier on your knees than swimming.

[piranha]

we have no YM/WCA, alas.

rehab centre. hm. i never even considered that, because i've thought they'd be restricted to patients. i should try and find out. good idea! the local seniors' centre has no gym, i did check that since i am pretty close to senior age now (in a few places i already qualify). the municipal sports complexes have gym equipment, but no ongoing instruction. i already know that with something i don't innately like, i am not going to stick with it on my own.

swimming is wonderful. i definitely need to do more of it. i always swim in the summer when the ocean is warm enough. i am not fond of chlorine, but i should get over it. we have a gorgeous, new aquatic centre and i haven't even gone yet. wave pool! why am i not going? stupid reasons that i could fix (vision problems, swimsuit issues).

hanne blank wrote a gym book? *blink*. ok, anti-gym i could see, but it sounds pro-gym. oh, i gotta check that out.

[jesse_the_k]

Newer aquatic centers have "salt water" systems: no chlorine! Don't know how they work, but they do, and it's lovely soft on the skin like swimming in the ocean.

(My first swim was off the Maine coast. Good thing I was well padded.)

I have tried many big person swim suits, and would be happy to share advice. IFF your vision issues are near-sightedness, there are relatively inexpensive modular Rx goggles.

*come into the pool, we need more geeks*