target audience

[piranha]

matociquala wrote a very interesting post about target audience (and finding balance between making sure readers have the information they need and yet not leading them by the nose).

i was struck by the similarity of writing for one's target audience to forming romantic relationships -- there are readers who are potentially in sympathy with what one is trying to do. They are the target audience. -- that really is the way i see it, and why i think that love isn't enough and does in fact not conquer all, but that being true to oneself and who one wants to be will attract the right kinds of people, and one needs to recognize them, and let go of unexamined preconceptions of what a good relationship should look like, and what one's "type" is. this also ties into something i feel when somebody isn't interested in me: i shouldn't take rejection personally because it doesn't say anything about my worth as a person. the other person is simply not in sympathy with who i am, what i am trying to do, zie is therefore not part of my target audience. and when a relationship does not work out, that doesn't mean either of us is a bad person, or doesn't love enough -- there is no shame in not being or remaining in synch with somebody else.

Comments

[redbird]

And then there are those who attempt to bring readers into sympathy, to lure them in. And the analogy there is fairly obvious.

Not taking rejection personally is easier said than done, but this approach may help me.

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

I like the idea, but I do in fact think of part of the "work" of romantic relationships to be the attempt to remain at least tolerably in synch with each other. That is, if the intent is to be partners in the long term.

More of a mutual writing game than a solo exercise.

I can say "oh, well, that didn't/doesn't work," and not feel like it proves my worthlessness, but there's still a sense of failure and loss, and sometimes betrayal.

To be successful at thinking of it as you've described, I'd have to go from an "accomplishment" mindset to a "being" mindset. I can do that occasionally, but I think a permanent shift would be difficult.

Oddly, what you describe is pretty much exactly how I feel about doing art. And that took a while. Maybe I'll get to the "being" thing with romantic relationships in the next ten years or so.

Re: target audience

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

i agree with the notion of it being a mutual writing game, because a relationship is definitely not a solo exercise. but i don't view the "work" part as remaining in synch with each other. which makes sense since i also don't have long-term partnership as a goal.

and yeah, i definitely have a "being" mindset about this now. the "work" part for me lies in communicating myself as honestly as i can, listening as carefully as i can, presuming good will, and being there for the other person in sickness and in health (i do take that one very seriously). but for the most part i want to be motivated by just being who i am, and be accepted and liked for that.

amusingly, i can't (yet) do this in regard to art. :)