strange facebook befriending

[piranha]

so, i have a friend request sitting here with which i don't know what to do. it's definitely NOT the person it purports to be, *snicker*, since that person is a japanese actor whom i most definitely don't know personally.

normally i would just friend right back because i don't generally care about "real" names (obviously), and i figure this has got to be somebody who knows me from somewhere, since i am here under a pseudo myself, and i can always figure it out later. i looked at their existing friends list and i only recognize one entry, and that's a very obvious pseudo (mina de malfois). i have a bit of a suspicion who it is.

i am mildly uncomfortable about someone using as their pseudo the name of another real person. even though that person is terribly unlikely to ever really be on facebook themselves, and i know that of course multiple people can share a name (though probably not a likeness at the same time; the facebooker uses a photo of the actor). maybe this is some kind of subversive stunt, but if so i'd like to know.

so, urm. i've got to think about this. what would you do?

Comments

[desert-dragon42.livejournal.com]

friend me instead!

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

good idea. :)

[desh]

I'd probably message them and ask who they are. I tend not to want to use FB as a place to meet new people, so unless they can identify themselves as an existing friend of mine, I wouldn't bother.

Re: strange facebook befriending

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

oh, i think it is a "friend" of mine (somebody i met on LJ and generally like). i wouldn't add a total stranger just because they picked me out of the crowd; there's nothing on facebook that makes it even plausible to me to meet new people.

my main issue is the identity hijack. i think i am coming to the conclusion that i don't want to tacitly approve of that by granting this friend request, even if it turns out to be a person i know and like.

[selki.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't friend them back unless I liked their writing, which seems less likely (writing) on Facebook than LJ anyway.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

That has happened to me several times (although not with a Japanese actor). I sent a note saying, "How do I know you?"

[ebourland.livejournal.com]

I think I would compel him to fess up to his real identity if he really wants to be buddies. It is one thing to adopt a sobriquet, another to hijack an identity even on a superficial facebook level.

I'm on Facebook too but I'm pretty picky about my friends there.

I have bailed out of MySpace entirely.

Re: strange facebook befriending

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

yeah, it's the identity-hijack that really bothers me. i've got no objections to a pseudo, so i wouldn't require that zie fess up to zir real identity, as long as i knew who it was. i'm not particularly picky there; i'll basically add anyone whom i know from somewhere even if i don't know zir in person.

but the hijack makes this something i don't want to tacitly approve, i think.

i've never been on myspace. i find it amusing that doris lessing is on myspace. the only social networking site i've spent any time on has been orkut -- because that's very geek-heavy, and a lot of people i knew from the sometimes even distant past are there.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

See, I think of piranha as not really pseudo kind of name - you have continuity with that name from USENET and the same userpic as on LJ and I feel like I know who you are. From my point of view, I don't think the issue is as much with the "fake name" as it is with (a) the identity-hijacking, which I think is disrespectful to the real famous person kind of like writing slash about real people, and (b) people "adding" on Facebook without identifying themselves to you.

I got a Facebook add request the other day. I didn't recognize the name or little picture, and the person had his/her own friends' list hidden, so I couldn't figure out whether there was a connection. So I wrote and said I didn't recognize zir name, where did zie know me from. Zie wrote back, repeating the name that hadn't meant anything to me, with what sounded like an offended tone. "I was your brother's first friend at university! I have been to your parents' place many times! I was at your brother's wedding! I was trying to find him on Facebook."

So I asked whether zie had my brother's work e-mail address. Zie said zie did, but "I just thought it would be fun if he was on here!" None of that made me want to add this person to my friends' list, so I didn't.

identity-hijack

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

exactly, my discomfort is with the identity-hijack. if it were just a pseudo or a real-sounding name i didn't recognize, i'd simply send a note asking from where we know each other. but even if this is the person i think it is, and we do know each other, and i'd have no objections adding zir under zir LJ pseudo, or indeed any other pseudo, i am feeling uncomfortable because zie's pretending to be the japanese actor. and i don't really want to support that kind of thing because i dislike identity hijacks even if no harm is meant. i feel by approving the friend request i'd be giving tacit approval to something i think is ethically wrong.

on LJ that bothers me a lot less because there isn't any presumption on LJ that you are who you claim you are. it still bothers me a little, but i wouldn't refuse friending the person.

funny that you'd mention RPS -- i also dislike that, while this person likes it. clearly we have differing ethics about these issues. :)

encountering an identity-hijack

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

First, I always like it that you put a subject title on your comments so I know what they are in my inbox. I keep meaning to start doing that myself and I keep forgetting.

I'm sure you know that I'm more confrontation-avoidant than you are. But in a case like this, I might find some way of telling the person why I wasn't adding them ... maybe it's never occurred to them that some people might object.

Actually, on LJ I think there is some rule against using it to play a role -- I noticed it when I was thinking of writing some fiction with a diaristic structure (is there a word equivalent to 'epistolary' but for a fictional diary?) -- but I think there's this whole game of people pretending to be world leaders on LJ or something.