![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
state of the paxil withdrawal
Aug. 3rd, 2006 11:41it's been more than 2 months since i stopped taking the SSRI, and things are going better than expected. it really seems like it did no longer do anything much for me, and i now think i won't start taking it again.
i am not noticeably more irritable anymore, not in that way that i was for a short while, where the paramour just walking in when i was working on something would set my teeth slightly on edge. i feel i am still more easily angered, but who can tell, what with idiots starting wars. in any case, the anger is limited to things that i feel it's appropriate to feel anger about, while the irritability was unacceptable. i am still closer to the edge of tears than i want to be, but not as badly as earlier, and this degree is manageable at this point. i'll have to continue to stay away from sad movies because they drag me down too much, and i'll have to be careful to how much world news i expose myself.
for a while i had no energy, but i can now feel bits of it coming back. this is exciting. every time i went off the paxil before i felt an immediate slump in energy, and that got me pretty much right back on it because the level on the paxil was already so low that it made me feel totally useless. i am glad i pushed through that this time; i was wondering whether maybe it was just a withdrawal effect that would pass. it's still way low, below where i need it to be if i want to feel like a productive person, but i am going to try to pull it up with careful management (start doing something useful as soon as i feel a wave of it come on, which tends to propel me into doing at least one other useful thing even when it immediately goes down). also, my level of physical activity is higher now -- nothing spectacular (as if!), but except for the dog days of heat in its mid-thirties, i've been pretty much out every day in some form; sometimes just gardening, but when the high tide was convenient i've been swimming, we've been on a number of short hikes, rode the bikes a few times, and if all else failed, there have been mailbox walks.
the tinnitus has mostly disappeared, though i still have occasional episodes where it returns for a couple of hours.
since this is manageable, i'll stay off meds entirely for a while longer to see how far i can push being functional. and then i'll have a new baseline against which to compare other anti-depressants.
the rest of my health is ok -- the damn bug was mostly over after a week, but gifted me with post-nasal drip which is just now wearing off. the piece of glass that had embedded itself in my foot came out slowly after i put bunion cushions around the site that protected it from constant pressure and rubbing, and i've been able to walk without pain for a couple of weeks now.
overall -- not bad, not bad at all.
i am not noticeably more irritable anymore, not in that way that i was for a short while, where the paramour just walking in when i was working on something would set my teeth slightly on edge. i feel i am still more easily angered, but who can tell, what with idiots starting wars. in any case, the anger is limited to things that i feel it's appropriate to feel anger about, while the irritability was unacceptable. i am still closer to the edge of tears than i want to be, but not as badly as earlier, and this degree is manageable at this point. i'll have to continue to stay away from sad movies because they drag me down too much, and i'll have to be careful to how much world news i expose myself.
for a while i had no energy, but i can now feel bits of it coming back. this is exciting. every time i went off the paxil before i felt an immediate slump in energy, and that got me pretty much right back on it because the level on the paxil was already so low that it made me feel totally useless. i am glad i pushed through that this time; i was wondering whether maybe it was just a withdrawal effect that would pass. it's still way low, below where i need it to be if i want to feel like a productive person, but i am going to try to pull it up with careful management (start doing something useful as soon as i feel a wave of it come on, which tends to propel me into doing at least one other useful thing even when it immediately goes down). also, my level of physical activity is higher now -- nothing spectacular (as if!), but except for the dog days of heat in its mid-thirties, i've been pretty much out every day in some form; sometimes just gardening, but when the high tide was convenient i've been swimming, we've been on a number of short hikes, rode the bikes a few times, and if all else failed, there have been mailbox walks.
the tinnitus has mostly disappeared, though i still have occasional episodes where it returns for a couple of hours.
since this is manageable, i'll stay off meds entirely for a while longer to see how far i can push being functional. and then i'll have a new baseline against which to compare other anti-depressants.
the rest of my health is ok -- the damn bug was mostly over after a week, but gifted me with post-nasal drip which is just now wearing off. the piece of glass that had embedded itself in my foot came out slowly after i put bunion cushions around the site that protected it from constant pressure and rubbing, and i've been able to walk without pain for a couple of weeks now.
overall -- not bad, not bad at all.