renaissance poisson

I will think more about this, but I think BDSM is a pursuit that can attract people for reasons that might not be all that healthy and I say that as a long time practitioner. I suppose for me it's sometimes been a good path to "seeing" what hasn't been healthy in my emotional inheritance, as it can foreground matters for examination.

Also what you tend to see on LJ in BDSM and poly is the drama. The ordinary getting on and just being tends not to make it (it sometimes does, of course).

Anyway, BDSM is a risky business, and SSC does not make it not so.

WRT d/s I have an affinity with d/s, or I had, and may have again, and I also find heterosexual male dom/female sub d/s really problematic in most manifestations I have observed. That whole "housework and blowjobs on command" thing. I think het d/s is a major reason why I don't participate in BDSM forums anymore. They used to be fairly queer and diverse, but are no longer and I really can't stand watching people with bad gender politics yuk it up.

I think pain functions in a variety of ways in BDSM. Some people want to conquer it/themselves, some want to be punished/hurt, some enjoy the sensation, some have an affinity with a hurt/heal dynamic. Some can process it a number of ways. Physically speaking I don't relate to most BDSM writing/scene reports I have read.