Re mainstream culture: I think there are more references to smacking wives and girlfriends around in music lyrics. The most obvious ones I can think of off the top of my head are the Prodigy's "Smack my bitch up" (and to be fair, the resulting brou-hahaha with the Beastie Boys) and Eminem rapping about cutting up his ex-wife.
Recently here a rugby league player punched a woman in the face at a service station and broke her nose. He was banned for life and received a fairly heavy periodic detention penalty. After a string of PR disasters with gang rapes and whatnot, the League establishment is trying to come to grips with the problem of players attitudes to women and said as much. Most commentry I heard in the office and in the media was about it being worse to punch a 19 y/o girl, but at least the key message was "this time you don't get away with it". But they still have cheerleaders and women's rugby is considered a joke by many. To me that encapsulates a number of angles of the problem of women, equality and violence, especially as he is being seen in some quarters as the "whipping boy" for the issue.
There is also the option that people, including feminists, genuinely have a blind spot. I had one about the spanking issue until you just mentioned it. Not a wilful one, I just stupidly had not thought of it, although it seems obvious now.
In the end for me it comes down to a judgement about whether or not being aligned with a progressive movement is going to fix more than it damages. And my view on that certainly can change with time (the gay one is in flux at the moment, I think I have more in common politically with deliberately unmarried hets than my queer peers who want to get married)
This turned out long...
Recently here a rugby league player punched a woman in the face at a service station and broke her nose. He was banned for life and received a fairly heavy periodic detention penalty. After a string of PR disasters with gang rapes and whatnot, the League establishment is trying to come to grips with the problem of players attitudes to women and said as much. Most commentry I heard in the office and in the media was about it being worse to punch a 19 y/o girl, but at least the key message was "this time you don't get away with it". But they still have cheerleaders and women's rugby is considered a joke by many. To me that encapsulates a number of angles of the problem of women, equality and violence, especially as he is being seen in some quarters as the "whipping boy" for the issue.
There is also the option that people, including feminists, genuinely have a blind spot. I had one about the spanking issue until you just mentioned it. Not a wilful one, I just stupidly had not thought of it, although it seems obvious now.
In the end for me it comes down to a judgement about whether or not being aligned with a progressive movement is going to fix more than it damages. And my view on that certainly can change with time (the gay one is in flux at the moment, I think I have more in common politically with deliberately unmarried hets than my queer peers who want to get married)