piranha: red origami crane (Default)
Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

credit for all of these goes to thad at eyrie-dot-org who collected them.

wow, IE6 totally uglifies transmogrified's comment page. and the home page.
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

A4. Rottweiler: Make me.

A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...

A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little cluster...

A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
Q. How many voyeurs does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Only one, but they'd much rather watch someone else do it.
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
thanks, eagle. *whaps you with a wet fish*.

Q. How many Socialist Workers Party members does it take to change a lightbulb.

A. Four. One to change the bulb, one to write about it for "the paper", one to sell you "the paper" and another to follow you home and ask why you weren't at the bulb changing, if you plan to make the next one and if you were still as committed.
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
Q: How many Management Information Services guys does it take to change a light bulb?

A: MIS (IT) has received your request concerning your hardware problem and has assigned you request number 359712. Please use this number for any future references to the light-bulb issue.

if [personal profile] testicle subscribes to your DW, nevermind. he's my test account. ;)
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
how many marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

none -- the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
piranha: man lying on ground with thought bubble "is it my imagination or does my ass hurt?" (does my ass hurt)
just hammering on things to see whether anything shakes loose.
piranha: red origami crane (Default)

this is the first test of the dreamwidth crossposter to LJ.

not the first time. trying again. click both tickyboxes, fish.

awesome-cake, with awesome icing on top. so here's your daily goodie about dreamwidth: you can crosspost to up to 5 other accounts. editing also works. (the crossposter is in alpha, don't expect miracles. :)


piranha: red origami crane (Default)
renaissance poisson

July 2015

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