1x1 @ 45lb
5x5 @ 47lb
2x5 @ 75lb
3x10 @ 50 lb
~16 hours tachycardia attack yesterday; that's not a personal record i was aiming for. was just about ready to head for the emergency room when it finally converted by itself. exhausted today. it's depressing to think that no matter how much i work to improve myself, the stuff that's debilitating me the worst is just not going away. thought of shifting workout to tomorrow, but the heart is a muscle and making it stronger is a good thing. and i've never yet had an attack from working out.
5 min light cardio.
10 min mobility, more on shoulders than anything else.
started with OHP but increased only by 2 lbs, which is probably sensible anyway. watched the 70sbig video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqKhLR1zRaU
) again beforehand to remind myself of elbows to ribs, middle knuckles to ceiling, and paid special attention to keeping my core tight in order to avoid hyperextending my back (i know right away whenever my core collapses because my back instantly twitches).
squats with broomstick. trying for hybrid squat form, but didn't have enough energy to set up video, so no idea whether the form was good. since hybrids don't go into the hole, i didn't have the huge problems coming up. but my heart wasn't in it (ha ha).
pulled myself together, and did a full setup, de-rack, and walkout with the oly bar at the end, per what james from SLIC suggested (only more weight), because i felt i was letting myself be too cowed by giving in to being tired and depressed. and i wanted to see whether i was just blowing smoke when i say it's not fear of the weight holding me back, but the shoulders. since my shoulders were all nice and warm from the OHP, they didn't actually try to kill me, and i managed it alright (painful, but bearable). did one squat as a flourish, because i was already standing there, you know? so, yeah. it's not the weight scaring me. i LIKE the weight (that's easy to say now, *heh*). but i do. it feels like i am really doing something when there is weight on my back. it feels good.
deadlift felt fine after that, i threw in an extra set, and i ended the workout feeling emotionally much better than before, despite being even more tired. bed early tonight.
[edit: bed early but not quite yet. i felt so good that i needed to do something else, *heh*. so i added some lat pulldowns on top; they make me more conscious of where my lats actually are than anything else.]