piranha: red origami crane (orizuru)
this is book 3 in the falls chance ranch series of free, online reads, available in the authors' blog: http://fallschanceranch.blogspot.com/

at the start of the book dale is away from the ranch for a month on his first real project since his breakdown, which brings back a lot of the stress and unfortunately derails his recovery. upon returning to the ranch so his family can help pick himself up again, he continues seeing strange and sometimes scary events around the ranch, and the vivid nightmares get worse and worse. not knowing whether the events he sees while awake are a product of his own anxiety or a mystical connection to the past, his analytical mind cannot leave this unsolved problem alone, and he keeps following the clues to a spiritual place on the ranch called "mustang hill", a clearing in the woods where nothing grows, petroglyphs are carved into rocks, and something intangible seems to haunt the place, ready to attack. of his partners, jasper is the only one who also senses some of the things dale experiences on mustang hill, and helps him explore their meaning.

unfortunately this book has 2 strikes against it for me right off the top -- domestic discipline, and sorta-native-american mysticism. i have complicated feelings around appropriation and this hits them right smack in the middle and i felt uncomfortable the entire time. not the discomfort of "you really ought to examine your own preconceptions here", like i feel about the domestic discipline, but discomfort with the myth of oppressed people being used by someone not of those people to elevate a character also not of those people. using 9-11 is alas another half strike. it's not the authors' fault, there's nothing wrong with the storytelling, the authors strike me as sensitive and tolerant and thoroughly well-meaning, and the story is potentially a very touching one for somebody not-me, but i am desensitised and allergic due to years of cold-blooded exploitation by american politicians, and the unrelenting erosion of civil rights in its wake. which reminds me: dear ranger & rolf; please do not use "politically correct" in your books unless you actually WANT to sound like american rightwing nitwits. people who use it over here usually have problems with empathy, and consider it a bleeding-heart liberal weakness. they would hate the people in your books for being deviants in every which way, and a little spanking would not reconcile them. eradicate the term from your vocabulary; you'll be better off.

all that said (just blurt it out, dale), i actually found dale's development very interesting even though it is partly headed in a direction i can't relate to, and i was glad to see jasper show more of himself (even though the character of jasper makes me uncomfortable (see appropriation)). i also don't quite grok how jasper got into DD; it seems to make absolutely no sense to me from looking at his beliefs.

it's quite a fascinating journey, and has a bit of a mystery feel to it, which really attracts me. and i am clearly too tired to do this review justice, so for now, this is it. it sounds more negative than i actually feel; i still love the series, i still love dale, i can't get enough of reading about him. the love and affection that runs through these books -- not just for people alive today, but for people of the past, their culture and history, and the land on which they lived -- is wonderful, heartwarming, and inspirational.
piranha: red origami crane (orizuru)
this book is part 1 in a series of free, online reads, available in the authors' blog: http://fallschanceranch.blogspot.com/

oy.

i did not know this was a kink book, and a very specific kink -- domestic discipline -- when i started to read it; it was recced by a group in which i participate, which covers a wide range of m/m fiction, and it was recced on the strength of its characters. domestic discipline is not a kink i even understand. spanking for sexual pleasure i can understand intellectually, but for punishment? everything inside me is repelled at that (background: i was physically abused as a child, from spanking to outright being beaten black and blue, and it was all justified as "christian"). so, domestic discipline is anathema to me, even though i realize that there is a huge difference between the serious power imbalance and non-consent situation of an adult using corporal punishment on a child, and two adults deciding with full consent that this is something they want to include in their relationship. i believe corporal punishment of children is abusive and should be illegal. what mentally sane, consenting adults do is none of my business. maybe. i feel profoundly squicked by christian domestic discipline situations where the man is always the top and the women always the spankee. in general, men being tops and women being "brats" bothers me (heck, the terminology alone bothers me). still, i am willing to accept it if i am convinced it's not abusive, but emotionally i do not grok it.

i generally do not like the setup for the story. corporate hyperfocussed CEO wunderkind dale had a mental breakdown complete with hallucinations, and his boss sends him to a remote ranch in wyoming, a working cattle/horse/sheep ranch populated by 4 guys who, aside from running the ranch, also specialize in rehabbing executives who've overworked themselves and run off the rails in some way. they do this by providing a very firm structure, with strict rules, isolating their clients from all outside influence, keeping them there as long as necessary, and retraining them to handle the pressures of their jobs better. which apparently includes spanking them if deemed appropriate *raises eyebrows*. not your usual executive rehab. the problem with this book is that the corporal punishment comes initially across as dubcon at best, and considering dale's mental state when he gets to the ranch, can quite easily be seen as noncon and abusive. he sort of consented to being there, but under duress ("get fired or go there"), and he's too distracted by the sudden ultimatum to actually read the introductory materials. oh man, this is problematic in a lot of ways; there are no safeguards here at all against actual abuse of vulnerable people. i -- figuratively -- tossed my bookreader against the wall. but the rec had promised unusual polyamory, so i picked it back up.

i like the setting -- the story of the ranch's founders, the "strays" they took in, and the network they built, the insights into equine herd behaviour, the connection with nature and the history of the land. very evocative. the world built here is fully realized, and it's a world i wouldn't mind to be part of.

and i am fascinated by dale. the book is very long, and some might find the pace excruciating, but i enjoyed it. i like slow, in-depth character exploration. dale is a work in progress, and it takes a long time to change the damaging habits of a lifetime. the rehabilitation -- aside from the corporal punishment -- is relatively sensible for dale's issues. he's a marvelous character, complex, highly intelligent but hypercritical of himself, extremely analytical and competent when it comes to matters of work, quite inept when it comes to close personal relationships; desperately lonely, yearning for somewhere to belong with someone. i can identify well with him even though we are very different in specific aspects of our personalities, but he's so well designed that i find him easy to understand. and i've learned something about domestic discipline through dale that makes it feel somewhat less objectionable.

i have issues with some of the other characters, though. first, jasper is a cypher and a bit of a stereotyped one (part native american, quiet, connected spiritually with the land, carves totemic animals); i never connect with him and i don't see where dale does -- which is a major problem since we're talking polyamory here. there is a bit more to paul the homemaker who is an excellent listener, and i can write it off as "understated", but i would have still liked to see more. riley is a true brat (and i generally don't like bratty 30 year olds). he has redeeming character traits, but frankly, he seems to me to be quite unaffected by the spankings he gets for any length of time; the effect often doesn't even last for a day. i dunno; my therapeutic abilities tell me that maybe domestic discipline ain't working and they should try something else. also, flynn and riley are locked into a negative behavioural pattern where flynn becomes withdrawn when he gets scared for one of his partners (usually riley), and riley can't stand that and keeps poking him, which results in flynn withdrawing even more, so riley gets brattier and brattier until flynn nearly snaps and leaves for a few days in order to not lose his temper and take it out on riley, all the while riley gets to stew in his own guilt. these two men have done this for 15 years, apparently. hello! the 4 guys specialize in treating bad behaviour patterns in CEOs. physician, heal thyself. maybe flynn needs some spanking? that seems never to be an option for a self-declared "top" -- why not? are there no switches in domestic discipline circles? dale doesn't get to withdraw because it's detrimental to his recovery. flynn's withdrawal is also detrimental. neither flynn nor riley seem to have learned to handle this in 15 years; it takes dale to talk flynn out of his grim mood. i see what you did there, dear authors, and it's too much of a setup.

on the plus side, i adore the unconventional polyamourous family. my own is very different from the norm (though talking about "norm" in polyamory at all makes me chuckle), and it's rare that i read about something that is in some ways quite similar, and is very much how i'd love to live if we all were in the same location. i was glad that there was no sex in the book; it would have been very inappropriate for any of the tops to have sex with dale, and since dale was basically asexual for most of the duration of his initial stay on the ranch due to his mental state, it made sense to keep sex between the others off-screen and at most alluded to. i seriously enjoyed the understatement in regard to sex; usually i find an overemphasis on it in society at large while in my own life it's a whole lot less important than many other things, and i feel quite odd when reading constantly about people for whom sex is a major drive that makes and breaks relationships. it's nice to see an intentional family where their love isn't primarily based on sex.

3.75 stars, docking points for unbelievable and potentially abusive setup, and lack of full character development. still, character-wise this is leaps and bounds above the norm, and the pacing is perfect for this story. also, while the authors could have used an extra proofreader to sort the its from the it's, the book is better edited than some published works. i'll be reading the next volume (and thank the authors for offering a quality work for free; much appreciated).
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
i think the books that irritate me the most are those that have a story seed of something valuable and characters i could come to care for, which then gets squandered bit by bit until nothing is left.

i thought i'd give claire thompson another chance, despite my prior disappointment with masked submission. this time i read golden boy, the story of johnny wilson and eric méndez.
long, even for me, and contains some explicitly sexual language )
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
albeit in more muted colour schemes.


smut that annoyed me:

claire thompson's masked submission. dylan is searching for something more, something deeper than random play scenes, and he thinks he might have found it in tomas, a mysterious, masked dom he meets at an exclusive BDSM club. they have a definite connection, and dylan falls in love -- except even at their closest tomas will not unmask himself, he remains distant and that hurts dylan.

the rollercoaster ride of his new love and the submissive feelings it brings out in dylan make him confide in his thesis advisor jack, who's come out as gay and dominant to him during their blossoming friendship. jack seems to be developing deeper feelings for him, and things come to a head after a drunken tumble in bed. but dylan can't give up his fantasy love, and jack has ... secrets.

ok, so overall this isn't all bad (if a bit overly dramatic at times), which is probably why the big scene towards the ending really really annoys me. there's the usual amount of squick because of too much pain (which i don't grok) and too much humiliation (which makes me a bit nauseated), and this book didn't help me feel less squicked, but that's not what i am talking about. no, what's stuck in my craw is that after all the talk about trusting in your dom even when the dom really pushes your comfort envelope -- trusting even when you're very much afraid, because your dom has promised he will be there and watch over you, and have your back, _this_ dom isn't there and isn't watching, he leaves dylan in the hands of other people, and dylan almost gets badly hurt (and not in the good way).

now, it's not totally swept under the carpet because the dom rides in as a knight in shining armour at the last moment, and feels guilty afterwards and promises himself to never let this happen again, but if i had been dylan, i would have ripped the dom's face off, and it would have been a long time before i would have trusted him again. because this wasn't a small oversight or some unforeseeable accident; the scene was planned this way, and the dom's vetting of the other people was terrible -- everything was about pushing dylan (and consequently making himself look good), but he seemed to put no thought into keeping dylan safe while pushing him way beyond his comfort zone. and this after he'd already gone through one major trust issue with dylan (which he also fucked up).

grade-A prick. it spoiled the entire relationship for me. it also turned dylan into a doormat, and i rather liked him at the start.
piranha: red origami crane (Default)
as i mentioned in a prior post, i'm seriously squicked by certain aspects of BDSM, and i've worked for some years on getting the squick down to at least be respectful of people into it, since strangely enough a fair number of people with whom i am friendly are, and not all of them have filters or even use cut tags for that stuff -- and i don't actually WANT to be judgmental of them. i've pretty much managed that, overall.

though whenever i see BDSM drama on my flist, my eyes still roll a little harder -- sane, safe, and consensual seems to not work as well in practice as it's advertised, and many people in that subculture seem to me to have personality traits that make me wonder whether they don't need counseling more than another scene (especially doms). but it's not like the poly community is all bunnies and daffodils either; i know i am not being as fair as i could be.

anyway, this isn't about them, this is about me, and my unreasoning squicks. i don't like to have those.

so i am reading, both nonfiction, and fiction, because the fiction gives me more of the emotional "flavour" which the nonfiction tends to miss. if you want to recommend something, please feel free -- i'm currently perusing different loving by brame & brame & jacobs in the nf category, and have just finished the deviations series by owen & payne (which is remarkably well written, insightful, and erotic as all get-out for me, despite it being heavily BDSM). when recommending fiction, please let me know which sexual preferences are represented (i much prefer m/m, but i will read others), and what sort of potentially squicky things i might come across.

cut for people for whom that was already more than enough )

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renaissance poisson

July 2015

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